Promises made to me don't carry much weight.
They're just words. Sometimes heartfelt, and truly, honestly pledged. Sometimes, made in a temporising manner to avoid some immediate problem. But in the end, all just words. Financial, emotional, physical, spiritual promises. All just words. Large, small, immediate, life-long. Words. They rarely coincide with the actions they detail.
It's in aggregate that this is an issue for the most part. An individual promise... well, usually it just floats right past these days. I end up putting very little emotional investment in it — not in happy expectation of its fulfillment, nor in comfort of its reassurance, nor in fear of its failure. Often it just becomes noise added to the conversation. I'm detached from the semantic content of the statement as well as its intent. The detachment disturbs me because promises are supposed to be connections and my connections to those I care about are very important to who I am.
I do wonder how this affects the promises I make. I try to follow through, and I don't make promises I don't intend on following through on. I definitely know I'm not perfect. Just hope I'm not being as bad about promises I make as those that have been made to me.
(to be clear: this is a philosophical and rhetorical entry, not an angsty-and-looking-for-reassurance one)
[ read original | Fleeting ]